I got back in town yesterday afternoon just in time for a four hour stage combat class for the actors at the theater.

Stacy (a man named Stacy) and Ted, who have been performing and teaching stage combat longer than I've been alive, taught the class.

Ted kept reminding us that realistic stage combat is almost impossible in the round (which our theater is) and that it's done best on film, just serving as a reminder that none of us are getting film or commercial work right now.

He also was not above letting us know how many Shakespeare shows he's been a part of. Every new move came with an elaborate story.

Ted: Please be careful if your punch has arc. When I was doing 'a Mid Summer Night's Dream' in New York my partner dislocated my jaw with this punch.

He also loved referencing the Lord of the Rings movies.

Ted: Adding sound to your combat is very important and make sure that you are adding and NOT adding sound at the right time. When Frodo and Sam see the mountain about to burst in Helm's Deep you hear them 'aaAAAHHH' then pause, THEN it explodes. Had they not paused the explosion would have been drowned out. Use your voice and the earth to help you.

Now I know how hard I can be punched in the stomach before it hurts. It's a lot harder than I had expected.

In the end we came away with a lot of new moves, but a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous. I'm 99% certain that someone is going to get accidentally punched during the shows and when it happens I hope I have my camera ready.