Callahan brought home a Christmas tree and a pine scented candle. Strangely, I also brought home a plant from Ikea. It's a money tree. His name is Blagden Phosphorus III.

I don't know if it's the greenery or that fact that were getting a new roommate tomorrow, but it put us both in the mood to clean. Afterwards Callahan lit the new pine candle; an olfactory pat on the back for a job well done.

Callahan: The person at the store said this was going to smell like Christmas! This doesn't smell like Christmas! What the fuck.