Chicago to Boston to Chicago

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I took this picture in August, about a month after I bought my camera.
The mirror wall in the airport caught my eye and I got excited to snap some photos. I remember thinking, "Ooo...I bet these are going to be some really neat pictures," and feeling happy about my new hobby, and daydreaming about getting really good at taking photos. It was an adventure.

Since the camera broke the wind has been taken out of my sails and I barely take pictures now. When I do, all I can think is, "Ugh...this picture is probably going to be washed out and I hope it's not blurry."

With the post holiday winter blues setting in I begin to feel similarly about my move to Boston.

I’ve settled into comfortable habits and a schedule. I have a favorite take out place, I can give ambling tourists directions, I say hello to my neighbors by name. These are things that make me feel more secure general I thought I'd be happier. Does everyone go through this when they move?

Looking at this picture makes me feel very sad.

For the last thirty minutes I've been tring to think of a way to sum up this entry, but honestly I don't know how. Maybe something about things being blurry now, or that there is a possibility that I feel happier among newness, but I just don't know. I'm tired. Ugh, Spring get here quick.


Blogger Mags said...

Sarah: I found your blog initially because I wanted to move to Chicago when I graduate from culinary school in July, and I live close to Boston, and ironically that's another city I thought about moving to...

I've enjoyed reading and seeing how you acclimate in your new job, with new friends etc, and have appreciated your honesty in how you feel about it all...

That has nothing to do with anything, but I feel like I wanted to tell you how I found you, and that I really like it here.

That being said, I think that yes, anytime anyone moves far from loved ones to a new place, they go through what you are. I once moved to Florida without knowing anyone, and hated it for the first month and a half. Then it grew on me, then I got homesick, and then I fell head over heals in love with it.

Then I moved back home.

Just try to remember why you moved there, the opportunities you will encounter and the richness that your new friends will bring to your life. Home is home. It always will be, and it will be waiting for you when and if you decide to go back...

Hang in there. You're doing great.

12:06 PM  
Blogger said...

sigh, i read this post literally 5 minutes after being offered my dream job in boston. thanks sarah :)

seriously though, i went through alot of the same things when i moved to tucson (where i met arnie where i found his blog where i found your blog). after a while i allowed myself to appreciate that tucson was not the european-style city like boston/ny that i wanted, but had its own charm, its own natural beauty, its own weird mix between mexican and hipster that makes for an interesting social scene.

i agree with the last comment. i think it'll flip up especially when the sun starts to come out in the spring, and such. hang in there - some people find misery in everything they do. some people find happiness love and friendship in everything they do. since i only know you as associated with arnie, i think its a safe assumption you fall in the latter category because thats the kind of person he is.

keep it up, and you'll be all right! and maybe this time next yaer when i move up there you'll be posting on my blog about how to get out of winter blues.


9:22 AM  
Anonymous thea said...

You're not completely in Boston. You're also in Chicago. Being split between loves is always a challenge.

And fuck winter, you know? It chills our bones and hearts.

You're good.

12:44 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home